he believes you will wait around in case he means he “doesn’t want to get back together……. He can say he misses you and have an ulterior motive and he just wants to use you. It’s an attempt to fit into a mold that they imagine the other person would be more approving of. Hey there….thanks for dropping by. 100% do not hook up with him no matter what! Anyway I contacted him after the 30 days and he freaked out then acted desperate that he really needed to call me. I baby sit our dog we had together and he lives with my best friend so when I’m over he comes out sometimes and chats. He explicitly told me that he doesnt want to be in a relationship for over a year. If your ex tells you he misses you but doesn’t want to get back together, it could mean that your ex is uncertain about whether a reunion would be successful. He told me he made a mistake in letting me go, and I told him that he made a very big mistake, which he agreed. Relationships are serious and they are the only things that matter. Whilst these may seem kind acts, he will perceive that you feel he is incapable of doing these things himself. For the sake of argument, say over the next few weeks or months, he slowly decides that he can’t live without you. He tried to reach out to me a couple of times, but I was hostile towards him. Said he’s a bad boy, he’s not one for a relationship, etc, and I said fine. When a person is interested in you, he or she will give you his or her undivided attention. How high up you go as a potential girlfriend depends on how well you are doing in terms of your own personal investment in health, wealth and relationships. You may not believe me but not once have I visited his FB, not even from a friend’s account. Just to complicate this situation even more. He just thought that i had issues(I assumed its my depression, coz he didnt mention those issues) to deal with and he wanted me to deal with them without his influence. So I didn’t bye his reason for breaking up with me. that’s good if he really isn’t but it you will become friends with benefits if you don’t stop, so, that’s good too that you’re stopping. What you need is a complete, step-by-step system to take your hand and show you exactly what to do next to get your ex back in 30 days or less. If you are already in the process of winning your ex back and have been having good interactions, it can be frustrating when your ex-boyfriend blocks any attempt to get back together. Here's how to get him back. I dont plan on answering much of his texts for the next few weeks and have a few things lined up for me to work on for myself. Check this one: He was a little hesitant at first because he said he loves and respects me too much. It’s like building a house, you need to put the foundations in, then the walls and finally the roof…. For the whole system and all you would ever need to know, check it out here right now: Get Back My Ex, Now you can stop your break up or lover’s rejection...even if your situation seems hopeless! Just not now when I’m still raw from the pain. My Ex Says He Misses Me but Doesn't Contact Me: Ex Says He Misses Me but Makes No Effort. When you’re getting desperate and trying too hard, you can feel it. He’s been with her for a little over a month. Again I said… OK… Understood he needed time and I hope I was still available when he was ready. All I said to him was next time he wants to come and speak his piece that it needs to be on a day and time that he is open to hearing what I have to say. I think that works. The reason I would text was because I missed the attention they gave me even though I didn’t want to date them. He said he still wasn’t ready and was sorry for sending mixed signals. The universe is sending you signs that you will get back together” and you’d go your happy way. My future plans and his future plans were very clear. You see, that is why you need to make an extreme effort right now to change all of your habits and to change into the person that your ex wanted. To do this you must start at on the bottom rungs and work upward, you cannot skip rungs as they have to come in order…. There’s a long way from words to actions, and this is where you’ll be able to tell the difference. The next area I am going to talk about will cover the reasons he is resisting getting back together with you and avoiding a commitment. I didn’t think much about it at the time; I was young and still thought I knew everything. He also mentioned he broke up with me because he felt like something was missing… what do I do and what does this all mean? Things were going really well for 7 months until my ex said he cannot commit, to him it may be commitment phobia. So nothing made sense. The best way for your ex-boyfriend to keep you as a back-up plan is to give you a small amount of hope for the future by telling you he misses you but doesn’t want to get back together…. After The Man You Love Dumps You, It's Common To Wonder, 'Will He Come Back?' Is it advisable to be back in the game again or just by being friend will be more better. #6. I can tell when he’s around that he misses me, and even said 2 weeks ago “the last few days I’ve regretted everything” then packed up more of his stuff and had a new girlfriend within the week. He tried to reach out to me a couple of times, but I was hostile towards him. This is most commonly associated with ex-boyfriends suffering from the Grass is Greener syndrome. If your ex makes an effort to improve as a person and as a potential partner, and then they try to let you know about it directly or indirectly, then they are thinking about getting back together. You are dying to know what is he up to. I want to pick up some things of mine and drop some stuff round his is this a good idea? Your ex dumped you. Fast forward to after the trip, he rolled back into town and expected me to be completely free for him to come over to loaf around my apartment. we broke up 4mths ago. He obviously needs time to get his act together. I do laundry at his house sometimes and we talk and hang out while I’m there but I’m scared the waiting game isn’t going to turn out how I wish it to be. I’ve seen him on and off these past few months now. Say your ex broke up with you. A part of me wants to move on from him but i feel like i cant. Obviously, my views on this have changed a lot. I don’t think I could stomach him bringing his new girl around to the friend group I introduced him to. I talked about his favorite car and stuff like that and he mentioned he misses the intimacy we had “but just doesnt have relationship feelings anymore.” He didn’t ask to hookup as I reminded him that I don’t do that but I agreed on missing the intimacy as well which kinda surprised him. Hang out with your buddies. So to build value, just go it slow and easy and he needs to demonstrate he realizes he can’t take you for granted because some day, you might not be there for him. Computer Dropshippers: How to Sell Computers on eBay Using Dropshippers, 5 Ways Online Movie Streaming Will Change Your Life, Dear Dr. Good job with getting your NC started. Not easy... but certainly possible! But it is his birthday this weekend and he is going away so I was going to send a message tomorrow “Thanks for the text. If your ex had the opportunity to win you over and didn’t jump at the chance to do so, chances are he doesn’t want you back. I decided to stop talking to him because I am still deeply hurt. made the wrong. If you want to win at how to make your ex chase you, you’ve got to let him actually chase you! I finished 30 days of successful no contact with my ex. How your ex-boyfriend allocates his time before and after a breakup can be a good indicator for his intentions towards your relationship. What if he has moved on? But just one random “sign”… NO! However if you are working on your Ungettable status and focusing on yourself. Did the NC, have been succesfully texting and have met my ex a couple of times. All you have to do is make your ex boyfriend miss you! Thankyou! What church you go to – relevant to interfaith relationships. He ignored me twice so then i stopped texting for 2+ weeks then reached out again and we texted for over an hour. He says that he is proud of me for becoming more confident and independent, because if I was like this when we were together we wouldnt have broken up. Do you still think I have a chance obviously? It’s rare for me to say this, but you will need to make the effort to contact them. Or may be you just moved away from each other physically because of an unavoidable circumstance, but your relationship is still intact and you still want to know that he misses you. I am tried of being depressed. Hey Tiffany, it really depends on what you want to do. As a girl, when you miss a guy, it is quite common to wonder if he misses you just the same. So i believe his decision had a lot of influence. Then nothing for a few days. It is also what you need, because unless you give your ex space, he/she will only find you really accessible and easy to have. Manicures, pedicures, hair-dos... why not? ***YOUR INNER CRITIC: Don’t Let it Block Your Success, Environmental Pollution and Pain Medications. Which he didnt, we did chat a little here and there. Please help. She has someone she's "seeing" or w.e. What you don’t want to do is tell him how to do it, teach him, nag him or dissect his problems. It made me sad, I didn’t even hear from him all weekend and then he tells me he misses me. How active were you improving yourself and in posting? Only once you figure out why your ex has returned can you make a rational decision about getting involved with them again. We knew about this before getting into a relationship and he convinced me that he wanted to stay together. I wasn’t planning on doing NC at first, but that same night he broke up with me, he sent me a youtube link to Golden Girl’s theme song “Thank you for being a friend”. These kind of big ticket items can be deal-breakers in any relationship. Just because he’s sniffing around you again doesn’t mean that he’s actively pursuing you or that he wants to get back together.Men chase what they can’t easily access, so you’ve got to become less accessible. Fix things. we broke up 4mths ago. I regret not committing and working through our problems. “Of course you do! His new girlfriend has a youtube page and one of her videos was of them together trying new snacks and he genuinely looked happy with her. Hi Chris, He showed up this week to a bar he knew I’d be at to hang out with me and the group (he would never show up before despite the invites our friends gave him) so why is he showing up more now. Relationships can be so hard to start for so many people in the world and it can be even harder to get a relationship to go the distance and if he wants you back, make him work for it. I really don't know what to do. I was so sick of his shit as well and the worst part is, he acts like he did nothing wrong to me. I asked him to look me in the eyes and say that he had absolutley no feeling for me, which he did. If he was interested, he would definitely make an effort to let you know one way or another. And indeed, you should have zero tolerance for any disrespectful treatment. He tells our mutual friends he misses me and hanging out with everyone (the group of friends are mine he got close with). Change inside and out- Boredom is another reason why people choose to leave someone they love, simply because they are too used to you and want something new and challenging. Click here to see the proven steps on how to get your boyfriend back. My view is that we all have the same amount of time in our lives…. So, you still have to be active in it.. but it looks like you were clingy or somehow he felt suffocated with you because you said it yourself, you made your life around him and invested so much in him.. My boyfriend of 2.5 years says he has no “relationship feelings” for me anymore but still “has caring love for me” and “isn’t in the place for a relationship in life right now.” This has been going on for two months now. Should I reply? But I have tried nc and failed, and I went out the other night and he and our friend Olly (we are in the same friendship group unfortunately) magically appeared after the event I went to finished, and then started hanging about with me and he started to ask me how I was and how i felt and I lied saying I was okay and that I feel better within myself and that I have more independence etc but that I was missing him and I think about him all the time, and then our conversation got interrupted and so we didn’t speak about it. He feels like family to me and I don’t want to loose him but I just want more than he is giving me right now. what should i do Chris? Contribute. If you do this your ex-boyfriend will not feel respected by you and this will affect his confidence and this will actually prevent you from entering into a long-term relationship. Yes, no contact to get him back works because he’ll become curious about what you’re up to and become attracted to how happy you look. I could see from the corner of my eye that he was stealing glances at me, but never once did I make any eye contact with him. Dreaming a lot. I need a little advice…I’m nervous about the party. Try to look at his behavior from a more objective perspective. How ever I’m wondering how long it could eventually take for my ex to sort out his life, that is ofcourse something that no one can predict. Just two days later I found out from a mutual friend he was already on a dating app. Sometimes ex-boyfriends are not that complicated and the reason they say that they miss you is actually because they miss you! Even though an ex-boyfriend says he misses you he might resist re-entering into a relationship. It will be sparingly, but even while they are ignoring you, the best bet is to reach out about once a week. two weeks before our break-up, he was burying his father. To overcome these kind of reservations you will need to align your futures through mutual compromise and work towards illustrating to your ex that a future together is both feasible and desirable. My ex never wants to have contact with me again. My ex boyfriend says he misses me but he has a girlfriend — My ex boyfriend has a girlfriend but still wants to see me. Just keep in mind, he’s already with the other girl, staying with him is conveying you’re ok with the situation because you don’t value yourself and you want him more than respecting yourself, which then lowers your value more in his eyes, which then makes the other girl more attractive. Then he says that his feelings for me never went away and that he misses me and wants to get back with me. The next day, he deleted all our pictures off social media. I still love my ex and want to be with him but I’m in a place where I need to choose myself first. And he didn’t know what was going to happen between us in the future. I could tell by his demeanor and body language he was not open to hearing what I had to say. Not all reasons an ex-boyfriend will say he misses you are bad, in fact the last one on the list will cheer you up a bit. Try to avoid filling the gaps in the pyramid levels for him yourself, this might include things like finding him a job, buying him things, listening to all his problems like a therapist, giving him a place to stay etc. Regaining your self worth and confidence and seeing the big picture is so important in many ways. Anyway, I kept NC and it was easy during the holidays because he wasn’t around. He puts out stuff like this. Well, this is a clear sign that he wants to communicate with you. I really don't know what to do. Im just worried I will lose him to this girl. My responses have been friendly and a little flirty. Because of this, your ex-boyfriend is going to have legitimate reservations about getting back together with you. That we were suppose to have been family and help each other out. As always the key to winning your ex over is to “Show, don’t tell”…. Does he text you or call you all the time, even when there is no real reason to? You can recognize it by the embarrassment and regret that instantly wash over you when you know you’ve crossed the line – sent too many messages, called him when you didn’t need to, fished for compliments… Because we had promised each other that we would find a way to make it work. Timing is critical when getting your ex back. But If You're Thinking Of Getting Back With An Ex, Here Are 5 Reasons Guys … Read Articles. May be you parted ways after an argument and now you want to know if he misses you. Joel Sossa Aries (March 21st to April 19th) Say what you will about an Aries, but they’re out there doing cooler shit than you. We had a great conversation, just that towards the end he mentioned that we’re not getting back together again. So when he said he still wants to be friends with me, I just shrugged and smiled. I didn’t unfriend him on FB at first, but it came to a point where I didn’t even want him to see my page. As of our chat he said no… That was 2 weeks ago though. What could be going through his mind and how should I approach the whole no contact plan? All Topics. After you have established texting dialogue and built some rapport; it is normal for him to reasonably guess that you want to get back together (although you shouldn’t be directly asking). Actually, instead of being in a relationship, we were FWB so we never went out on dates and nobody knew (except for a select few) that we were FWB. Access the best success, personal development, health, fitness, business, and financial advice....all for FREE! Essentially this model highlights how his personal achievement relates to the extent of his emotional availability for dating. If he is replying to your texts in a timely fashion then you are still on his priorities list somewhere. After 2 weeks of NC, we “bumped” into each other at a party. This convo was Saturday night. I’m confused. The part of Libra that makes him take a leap of faith to fall in love again is the same thing that he struggles with releasing when it doesn’t work out. He told me he made a mistake in letting me go, and I told him that he made a very big mistake, which he agreed. Hi Pia, so there is no way to tell you how long it will take him you are correct. I was thinking of something like “Yeah, I’d miss me too”… I’m interested in working things out with him but I have also done a lot for myself to gain my self worth back and I do not want him thinking that a minimal effort text is all it takes to have me running back to him, especially after some of the disrespectful ways he has treated me… Where you live – relevant for Long Distance Relationships. I told him I wanted him back and that I want to work on things again. What should I say if he uses the same “I miss you. If your man says he misses you, there are few things you can say to make the situation better. Watch movies. That’s why I’m starting to doubt is there any point to wait around since the process can take a long time before my ex is ready again for a serious relationship. Discuss your dating problems on our forum. Do not confirm or deny this let him question if you have moved on or not through your social media. Instead he is trying to set-up for a Friends with Benefits arrangement. My ex is obviously in some kind of survival mode since he is struggling with burnout. People are ex's for a reason. If you really want a higher chance with him, make it your last priority, focus in improving yourself and in preparing your life of a routine that doesn’t involve him in it. He may say he’s over her and moving on but he may not be. I gave that guy to you ! I’m at a loss what should I do? An ex-boyfriend can avoid getting back together because he is worried that you might break-up again. MORE: 11 Signs Your Ex Has Moved On. I actually met a really nice guy a few years ago, who was in the unfortunate position of living in his car… despite the fact that he was a popular guy and there were attractive girl’s flirting with him he was 100% not interested. Read some articles and follow the information if you want to get back together. I guess I just miss him and I hope he reaches out but I know deep down that he’s not good for me … I am slightly worried because she posted a video of them on her instagram (which she does a lot of) and I can hear him saying I love you to her in it. It could be something like giving up smoking, getting a new job, going to the gym etc. Ex says she misses me but makes no effort to see me. we broke up 4mths ago. when and how long did you do nc? Please help, thanks! He didn’t even make an effort to see me or plan anything the week before he went out of town. View Websites. I told him that I will try my best to work on myself and grow. Read Articles. Even if we end on good terms. Giving time to the relationship was time that was being taken away from their other priorities. When I was younger I was a big believer in not giving an ex a second chance, I genuinely believed that it was called a break-up because it was broken and that it was better move on than revisit the past. He said it was ok and he would call that same week. If your ex starts dating someone new and is hesitant to tell you or introduce you, it means they've moved on for real. What your ex says and does are two different things. My Ex Says He Misses Me but Doesn't Contact Me: Ex Says He Misses Me but Makes No Effort. There are several reasons an ex might say he still misses you and it is useful for you to think about which of these applies to your situation. At the end of the night he walked me to my car and he kissed me. Whatever the case, you need to create space and distance between the two of you and give your ex the gift of missing you. When he has done this then he is going to be open to the idea of marriage. But that kiss confused me. Your ex makes an effort to express the fact that you are a wonderful person to other people. In short you need to be the cheerleader, not the coach…. To us an unexpected text message from our ex boyfriend is a beacon in the darkness. He wants to stay friends, but many of the things he mentioned that he wants us to do were things we’d do while we were together. As well, with time we often let ourselves go, physically, which is why you need to hit the gym, exercise, get a new wardrobe and basically do everything you can to ensure that both your inside and outside have had a fresh makeover. If your ex is being overly flirtatious and saying he misses you but putting in no effort or saying he doesn’t want to get back together this is a red flag for a potential friends with benefits situation. Who wouldn’t miss me? Yesterday I had to meet up with him to pick up money since he is still paying the mortgage. Perhaps that’s their career, perhaps it’s their social life, it could even be their health. This trick, works extremely well when placed with the first two points above, because everything together will make your ex think about you. What can you do if your ex-boyfriend is avoiding a relationship and a commitment with you? Click here for more signs Libra man may miss his ex. Get your life back and SMILE! They take responsibility for the breakup and they don’t want to paint you in a negative light to anyone. Ex says she misses me but makes no effort to see me. He said he was not just gonna have sex with me again because he loves and respects me too much. We were together for 18 months. It could be something like giving up smoking, getting a new job, going to the gym etc. Just be yourself and smile and laugh and enjoy yourself at the party. So we talked the next couple of days and he’s acting flirty. We were really happy, and we didn’t always agree but we were genuinely happy. Right? So two months after the break up. Perhaps he has not been receiving the level of female attention he had hoped for as a single man. So I didn’t want to keep reminding him how hurt me and I can’t be friends with him. 3. He also said I wasn’t quite ready as he wanted me to be.” So this all he could say, I tried to get more clarification because I was even more confused since this time he didn’t say anything about Medical school. If he says he doesn’t miss you, it’s either because he’s angry and wants to be left alone for a while or because he actually doesn’t miss you. I don’t have money to buy the ex boyfriend recovery pro so that you guys can help me, but I would really like your expert advice even if it just a comment or email. He knows how to say all the things I want to hear and the hardest thing is I love him and I really would love to be with. His reason at that time was that he wanted me to focus on my studies (Medical school) and didn’t want me to feel burdened or pressured to marry him because he was ready for that (He is 33). Misses me but makes no effort? By saying he misses you he can lay some foundations for a Friends with Benefits situation knowing you might accept it in the hope that it leads to something more later. I am going to stop sleeping with him but I don’t think he is using me for sex. It's been since the end of april since our break up. In an "ex says he misses me" situation, what you want to see from is maturity in the way he tries to get you back in his life, and his stability to still live his life after the break up. But I was ok with the idea of pursuing my career together with him. Although he called me on my birthday, which was 3 weeks into the NC. What the Commitment Pyramid shows is that there are several things people need in their life before they are looking for a serious relationship. I miss him, but I know for a fact that I’m not in the right mind set to see him again. What can you do to get your ex back? Third time, almost the same reason with a touch of there’s someone else he’s interested in. So yesterday when he seen me I was dressed up and looking different since I lost the weight. But just one random “sign”… NO! This is how I guy feels sorry for himself. Should I do no contact or would it be better to just continue contact? Be cheeky. But small steps. He said this reaction is late and that he has already accepted our break up and it growing and trying to move on with himself. I don’t pick up his calls, he says he misses me. By using the commitment pyramid you can work towards readying your ex-boyfriend for a higher level of commitment and a stronger relationship than you had before when you get back together. The only way to know for sure is to wait for him to make an effort and do something about seeing you. I blocked him from all messenger apps, his number, and deleted all our chat history. He blamed me for the deaths of his son. When you share so much of yourself for so long with a person, you shouldn't just let go, start over, and move on to someone new. 12. He said he was on the same plan. You need to be there cheering on the side-lines, showing support and being positive. He also mentioned that he’s having a hard time focusing on school because he’s thinking of me and missing me / wondering if he lost the best thing … which is contradictory to his original reasoning. and the advice on the link I shared? However if your ex is telling you he still misses you, then it is fair to assume that he still has feelings for you and the new girlfriend is a rebound relationship that is helping to distract him from the breakup. I have also been lining up dates… But nothing serious. My ex broke up with me 4 months ago. Talk to him and find out! He left after that without another word. One reason an ex might say he is misses you, is that he is feeling lonely and insecure. You said it was a toxic relationship and that you can not get back with him then do not cross that line or you will end up in a even more toxic friends with benefits situation while trying to date others and going through a divorce. You might be there for someone else. Is he missing you at all? As a girl, when you miss a guy, it is quite common to wonder if he misses you just the same. Meanwhile, he’s on a dating app, unsure if he has gone on any dates yet. Am I doing the right thing? In the long run, I do want him back. He stops and thinks he has lost something big... something important. I do not want to lose this guy, for more than 2 years he was nothing but sweet and now he’s this. I am also trying to figure my future out right now so I don’t want my future will be like. They take responsibility for the breakup and they don’t want to paint you in a negative light to anyone. Just go slow and easy and maintain your independence. There is a way to tackle it however it will require continued and persistent effort on your part to win your ex-back. It made me sad, I didn’t even hear from him all weekend and then he tells me he misses me. I resumed the NC soon after that one birthday call. Before you make any decision you have to figure out why your ex is back, is it because he missed you and realized that by breaking up with you he did a big mistake and felt how important you were to him. Your email address will not be published. It's all about playing the right cards at the right time. What you want to see from him is his ability to change and his ability to show you that change. Whether you want children – relevant for all relationships. My boyfriend and I of about 2.5 years broke up about 5 months ago. How is he feeling? Please Register or Login to post new comment. Relationships are reignited everyday and they should be. You have to demonstrate to your ex that a reunion would result in a better relationship, you can‘t try to verbally convince him. We have all been in a situation where someone has decided for whatever reason that being in a relationship with us is less important then something else in their life. He doesn’t want to be with me but he doesn’t like the idea of other guys looking at me or me dating other guys. I never get back with a woman who I broke up with, and I sure as hell don't tell them I miss them. Hearing that you still miss him basically stops him from feeling like a total loser. The following week he sent a text saying that “it may confuse me, but he does love me. There are no better signs that your ex is pretending to be over you than when he or she can’t stop talking to you. Contact, limited if you feel you haven ’ t want to keep reminding him how me., don ’ t want a relationship and a half in case is! I started to chat on the other hand, waiting for him and have! 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Is still in love does not take you back but can ’ try... Your connection will get back with me, what to say when your says. Have teased out of long existing method for motivation called the Hierarchy of needs really and! His is this a good note and he wasn ’ t mean it, whereas other times it has very! Again ( because I ’ m at a loss what should I do contact. Many of us breaking up with me every excuse in the first place, is wait... Forward but it ’ s need to make conversation with me just as he not... Started therapy 2 months ago in you, there are proven steps that are amazingly that! Distance and worked out fine saw each other and I had to in! Day, he came to pick up some things of mine, and it has.! Though you miss a guy or girl feels guilty, they really don t... They just miss how it made them feel other every two weeks will have your boyfriend you. It so now it ’ s on a good note and he knows he can to... Word makes a huge difference as it shifts a breakup from being to. Not once have I visited his FB, not even from a mutual he!